So, I have this sister...

It all started Sunday.

My brother-in-law and his wife stopped over (and their two little lumps of doggy love). We made a great dinner and relaxed around our new fire pit. At one point ShankRabbit went to check on the kid (she was whiny) and it was just the three of us outside. My phone made a noise, notifying me of a new message on Facebook. Normally I wouldn't have looked at my phone while people were over, but my great uncle passed away on Friday and I figured it was one of my family members giving me details about the funeral*.

I received a friend request. At first glance, her name was not familiar, but had my maiden name as her last name**. She wrote a note with the request:

"Hi, I am your older half sister. I would love to get know you and your brother. I am older than you both. I have prayed for years to be united with you all and that is the primary reason I started my Facebook page. We can build a relationship independent of our father...".

Whoa.

My parents told me of possibly having a sister (my father's child with a different woman...before my mom came along), but at the time their words could not be trusted (substance abuse played a role in this distrust, among other things). Upon questioning other relatives, I was told that this was untrue. Many years passed...and so did the memory of this conversation.

Now I know that I really do have a half sister. Someone who I regret not knowing about sooner, but so happy she wasn't a part of my dark childhood.

"a relationship independent of our father..."

I know she knows.

After a few days and a stream of emails, I've gotten to know my sister.

Gosh, even saying "my sister" and not referring to an in-law or a friend is weird.

She has a 12 year old daughter (I'm an aunt?!) and a great career. She lives on the west coast.

Yeah.

I'm still processing this whole thing.

_____________

* - I'll save the story of my great uncle's funeral for another day. But I will tell you that this person is indeed my sister, as confirmed by my father who was in attendance.
** - She only put that (somewhat unique) last name so we'd recognize it as a possible family member.

Census. Cultural Background. Panic.

I love filling out forms. I don't know why, but any time I have the opportunity to fill one out, I jump at the chance (4 patient information forms, front and back, in a doctor's office? OK!). So imagine my glee when we received our 2010 census form.

I was disappointed when I looked over the form. I thought there would be more to fill out than name, address, age and race of each person in my household...but that was it.

That wasn't going to kill my buzz though. I still had a form to fill out!

As I happily filled in information and made neat little X's in the appropriate boxes, I screeched to a halt when I reached the "race" portion in my section.



Such a simple question, not so simple an answer...at least for me.

I have a very mixed background, but the main ones are Sicilian (at least 25%, if not more), African American (25%) and Native American (not sure exactly how much - I'm pretty sure it's not 25%, but could be close).

Now I know when they say "Caucasian," this could describe Sicilian...so I was covered there. But do I make an X in the box next to African-American? And if I fill in the box next to American Indian (is that even a PC term?) they ask you to name your "enrolled or principal tribe." Uh...I'm not official with a card or anything, I just know it's in my background. Do I put an X next to "other" and make up some craaaazy new name for my mixed heritage, like Cablinasian (except, you know, with my races...so it'd be like Cablinducilian...or something)?

((sigh))

So, after much deliberation, I put an X next to Caucasian and an X next to African American.

Alright...moving on. Next up: Peanut.

...

Geez oh Pete! What do I put for HER?!

(Another tense deliberation)

I left her portion with just an X next to Caucasian.

* * * * *

I'm sure I will leave some census person confused when they read:

Head of household: Caucasian
Spouse: Caucasian and African American
Biological child: Caucasian


Yep. That's us.

A preview of posts to come

A list is needed. There is just so much ready to come flying out of my brain:

- A tutorial (of sorts) on car seat strap covers

- How aesthetics ruined my wrist forever

- People and their words (or - How a Punch in the Face Wouldn't Be Enough...)

- My true thoughts on having another one

Cake or death?

I've talked before about my general dislike for any kind of bug in the house. We had our issue with spiders, silverfish (though, if it's anything like last summer, this will only get worse), and the occasional odd bug here and there. It's an old house, what can ya do?

My husband, the keeper of my sanity and "do it yourself-er" extraordinaire, got a pest control product for me us last weekend. We have yet to try it out, but I'll let you know how it works.

--

So, while I'm daydreaming about someday being able to relax in our TV room and not have a silverfish fall on me (ew. ew. EW!), I notice a strange dead spot in the landscaping on the side of the house. At first we thought it was damaged from the bad rainstorm we had a week or so ago, but upon further inspection, it's an ant colony. A LARGE ant colony.

After surveying the rest of the property (it's not big, so it didn't take long), we noticed at least three other areas of the yard where the little buggers have destroyed the grass and set up shop.

Now, I've said before that I don't mind bugs when they stay on their own turf (read: outside)...but this is excessive. They are destroying the lawn and creating more work for me in trying to keep Peanut from smashing and playing with ants (good thing she hasn't taken to eating them...yet...).

I asked the Google gods how I could get rid of an ant problem without going chemical-crazy. Of course, it returned a lot of answers. I'm not sure how effective these are, but here are a couple I found interesting:

- Sprinkle grits or Cream of Wheat around their colony. They will eat it and eventually die of starvation (it expands and they can't digest it).

- Pour a few gallons of boiling water directly over the colony.

Geez. I'm not trying to extract top secret information from them; I just want them to leave. Do I have to resort to torture?

I know, I know, they are just ants. But doesn't this seem...extreme? I guess it's better than sprinkling chemical death on their abode. And I'm sure politely asking them to take their business elsewhere won't work either. Though, maybe if I asked the queen herself...

I just have to get this off my chest

If you are not in the mood for a ranty, crazy post...then you can skip this.

Rant in the first:

I was just about to read Peanut a book before nap time when my cell phone rings. Some Chicago number I didn't recognize popped up...so I decided to ignore it and continue on with the naptime routine. Just as I'm putting Peanut in her crib, my cell rings again. Same number. I run out of the bedroom to answer it.

It is a general rule in our family that if you call 2 or more times in a row, it's really important.

Caller: "Hi, this is Lola from [some weird company name having to do with products]. Is this Stitch?"
Me: "Um, no...you have the wrong number."
Caller: "Is this [recites phone number]."
Me: "Yes, but I'm not Stitch."
Caller: "OK then. Good bye."

After I hang up the phone, I notice I have a new voicemail. Lo and behold, Lola left a message...for Stitch.

So, not only did Lola not listen to the voicemail greeting (where I clearly state my name) but she proceeded to call right back to see if I would pick up.

Normally, not an issue...except when my child is about to go down from a nap and the sound of my cell phone makes her jump up (she thinks daddy is calling).

Rant in the second:

I could go on for pages about my beef with "stupid drivers." Be thankful that I am sparing you from this. I will only touch on what's bothering me right now -

1. If you are in the left lane of a multi-lane freeway and are not paying attention to where you need to exit...please don't cut off three (busy) lanes of traffic because you are friggin' idiots (yes, plural. More than one person decided to do this in front of me today). I have a child in the car and God help you if you hit me.

2. Solid white lines in a construction area mean STAY IN YOUR LANE, DUMB@SS!

[photo (minus text) courtesy of Washington State Dept. of Transportation]

Rant in the third:

If you, the cashier, are ringing up my items and I tell you that something you just scanned was incorrect according to the sale display...DO NOT show me the price tag and say, "but the price tag says $5." Yes, genius...I saw that. But the 10-foot ad above it said $3.50. To further solidify why you are employee of the month, you gave me one heck of a look and an audible sigh after asking "do you want me to have someone check that price for you?" and I said yes (let me add, the store was dead). You don't even have to move from your station. You flip a switch, someone comes over and checks on the item for you.
Really?
Save the 'tude for someone else.


((sigh))

Thank you for letting me get that out. I've been having a great day, but there are just some people...

I guess I should be flattered...

...but I'm not.

Doorbell rings. It takes me a while to answer the door (I was upstairs with Peanut). Mr. Door-to-door Salesman, who was halfway down the stairs, turns around and sees me with Peanut on my hip and says "hey...are your parents home?"

Calendars and popcorn

Just a short post thanking Blogger for being my calendar.

I had to call our insurance company regarding an incorrect bill we just received. I could not remember when I got my MRI done (even though they have my file pulled up, apparently they need specific dates).
I couldn't find it on our fridge calendar, my purse calendar, or our Google calendar (you'd think with all these calendars I would have found it). Thankfully, I wrote a post about it - on April 23rd.

---

In other news...have you ever heard of coffee popcorn? Not coffee-flavored popcorn...this:



I found this "popcorn" in our new bag of java today. Just sitting on top of the other beans...all weird like.

So odd...

FAIL

Our family is entertaining the idea of going on vacation this year...to somewhere other than our usual destinations. I spent a good portion of my day looking at possible vacation rentals. This required A LOT of website visiting.

Here's a hint to anyone selling their vacation rental (heck, selling ANYTHING) online - if your website sucks, you suck.

...

Ok, not really. But understand that it is 2009 and there is no excuse for having a website that looks like it was created at the dawn of the internet.

Example (name of town edited out of courtesy. I'm sure it's a great place...they just have dolts advertising it):


Figure 1


Figure 2


There are just so many things wrong with this site (the background...my god, the background!), I am not sure I'd have enough space to detail it all. Let's talk about a few of my favorite parts, shall we?

Figure 1
* "Spring Fling Deal" - I think the color combination just made me throw up a little in my mouth

* "Less, less fog, less crowded!" - Not just less fog, but LESS less fog. Fog is practically non-existent here. Alert the media!

Figure 2
* Look at the very right side of the picture. See where my scroll bar is positioned? This home page was by far the L O N G E S T I have ever encountered.

* "Sshhhh...'[town] Best Kept Secret!" - first you tell me to be quiet and then you yell? Make up your mind!

* "not to winding" - just....UGH! ((facepalm))


Ok, I feel better now. Thanks for letting me share this eyesore with you.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Why Friday is lame

I have five posts in the works. Yes...I said five. Here are my reasons for not posting them:

Post #1: I am missing the photos for this post. I was just informed that one of the photos is lost and gone forever, so I have to get creative. Creativity is not dancing at my doorstep right now.

Post #2: This post requires a certain amount of rant-ability to be completed. Ranty fell asleep a while ago. I am left with complacent, glue-sniffing Isabella. (I'm not really a glue-sniffer...just thought I'd clarify)

Post #3: This is more of an informative post and I can't seem to make it sound...well, not boring. Seriously. You'd fall asleep quicker than...quicker than...
apparently Wordsmith went to bed with Ranty. Thanks, guys! Couldn't wait 15 more minutes for my post to be done, could you?!

Post #4: This wacked out (yet funny in my head) post requires props. I have yet to finish those.

Post #5: I think this will be Monday's post. I just have to remember to take pictures tomorrow.

Now you know why I sit here unsure of what to post. I have material, I just can't use it yet. So, you get this instead. A post about not having a post.

Lame FTW!

I'm not cool enough for this club

Several months ago, I was perusing our local community newsletter and noticed an announcement for story time at the library (specifically for ages 6 months - 2 years old). Wanting to get out of the house and be more social, I thought this sounded like a great idea.
The first day of story time arrived and I made sure Peanut and I were out the door with ample time to spare. I went up to the children's section of the library and asked the librarian where the story time took place. She mentioned finding my name on a list. Uh...was I supposed to call ahead and reserve a spot? Yes.

When I returned home, I double-checked the announcement in the newsletter. Nowhere did it say to call ahead. I was baffled. This was a story time for a very specific age group on Monday mornings - you mean to tell me they have SO many people wanting to take part in this that they have to have reservations?!

Fast forward one month. The new newsletter arrives with the same information. I immediately picked up the phone and called the library.

Guess what? They didn't have any more spots. Completely full.

I hung up the phone, seriously ticked off. We just received the newsletter that day. This means for their list to fill up so quickly, the following had to happen:

1. People who have attended story time before get first priority
2. They were taking names down well before the newsletter published
3. It's a cover for a book-obsessed cult and I'm just not their type

The solution: Continue enjoying story time at home.

MRI fun

The MRI was...well, uneventful. Spending over 30 minutes laying completely still is anything but an action-packed adventure. A couple of the ways I entertained myself:

1. Made up songs to the backbeat of the MRI's thuds and screeches.
2. Pretended I was on the set of a TV show. Unfortunately, no hot "I play a doctor on TV" types...just the Dr. Wilson lookalike technician.

The technician said that the contrast they injected was clear, so it wouldn't have any effects on me. Darn it all! I was hoping I could truthfully say "I pee rainbows."

Yes, I'm that lame.

Text color - I'm going all out. For real.

So, results expected Tuesday afternoon.

Recycling and Earth Day

It seems cheap to link someone else's post as "your" post for the day. Originally, it was going to be my post...but I handed it off to ShankRabbit. Why?

1. He was a little more, uh, emotional about this topic than me.
2. I knew he'd make it more enjoyable to read than I ever could.

So, if you want to know what happened with the garbage/recycling mix-up from yesterday, read ShankRabbit's post. You'll be glad you did.

* * * * *

I don't know why the Earth Dayists (or is it Earth Dayans?) don't use an earth worm as the focal point of their marketing campaign. Yes, it is called "Earth Day" and they use an image of the Earth, but that's too expected. Earth worms are the true heroes. Their bodies are the perfect recycling plant (no worries of layoffs in there!). Cartoon drawings of worms can be rather cute:


See?

I bet that book is printed on recycled paper.

Did you know that earth worms are hermaphrodites (no awkward humping poses shown on the Discovery Channel that you'd have to explain to the kids)? They just slither past each other...like they are sharing a worm hug. Aww.

So, during your Earth Day festivities, hug a tree, pick up a piece of trash, and salute the earth worm.

(No, I am not under the influence of some legal or illegal substance. This post was encouraged by a Call Me Cate challenge).

Duct Tape

Today's post was inspired by receiving an "honorable mention" prize at Suburban Scrawl - a blue, green and white duct tape wallet, handcrafted by Melisa's son.

Funny that I would win this when just this past weekend, ShankRabbit's silver duct tape wallet (from Uncommon Goods, as seen here in all its new glory) bit the dust.



August 2005 - April 2009

Well, I wanted to see what things people have made with duct tape. You can purchase fashionable purses, guitar straps...or make your own dress/suit and submit it to a contest called "Stuck at Prom," sponsored by Duck brand duct tape.
You and your date make your prom attire out of duct tape and you could win a $5,000 scholarship (wow...where was this when I was in high school?!). If you click on the link you will see past entries - some basic, some super-intricate.

I'm thoroughly impressed...though I wonder how you'd manage in an outfit that has no ventilation whatsoever. Maybe they brought a change of clothes.

My head is going to explode...

Last night, I was laying lying horizontally positioned on our kitchen floor. Peanut was playing peek-a-boo with my bellybutton and smacking me in excitement every time it 'surprised' her. ShankRabbit, in the middle of making dinner, looks over and says, "why do you look so sad?" I answer, "I'm not sad...just...too much." So, to prevent my head from exploding (and hoping that I can once again create full sentences when talking), let's explore the list:

1. My (physical) health - had to add that clarification, because we all know my mental state is slightly skewed most of the time. Not much to tell other than everything is probably fine, but the doctors don't know. A lot of fuzzy answers...and as Call Me Cate mentioned, "better to have fuzzy answers than fuzzy meat. Just saying." I couldn't agree more.

2. My fosterdad is visiting me Friday morning. This is the first time he'll see our house and meet Peanut (skipping over lots of details about why this is just happening in the interest of space and time). After The Great Furniture Move of 2009 on Tuesday, I have some major cleaning to do. Crap.

3. We are more than likely going to sell one of our cars and become a one vehicle family. I am a little excited about this (saving money - what a concept!, driving ShankRabbit to work, etc.), but I have an unnatural attachment to SR's car. Seriously. I cried the other night just thinking about it (If you're thinking, "who cries over a car?!" Just remember my warning about the month of April).

4. My checking account is anorexic.

5. I agreed to write an article about myself for our church's newsletter. They spotlight a volunteer in every issue. I just got a "friendly reminder" email yesterday saying it's due today.
The stream of words that came out of my mouth after reading that were not church appropriate.
Let me save you all the trouble and scold myself -
"geez oh Pete, Isabella, what were you thinking?! You hate writing, especially about yourself, and you agreed to write an article? Are you high?!"

--

I'm sure I have more of these swimming around in my head, but right now I'm plagued with writing something more interesting than "Jennifer is" on this newsletter article.

Correction

ShankRabbit didn't want to call me out on my post (he's a smart one, that husband of mine), so I'll do it myself.

For those who would like to know the real way to write "feet" in computer-speak...here is a conversation to read:
Shankrabbit: well, you weren't "wrong" per say

as far as how humans interpret numbers

you were right

but if i fed that to a computer... it'd take a sh!t

well, it'd give you something you weren't expecting
Me: lol

computer poops...rad!
Shankrabbit: computers don't process numbers "base 10"

they do it "base 16"

or, as you know it, Hex

Shankrabbit: so, if you'd want a computer to understand it

it'd be
01000010 01000001 01000001 01001010

66 65 65 74

or base 10

102 101 101 116

or

feet

you did the binary representation of the base 10

Twitter me this...

I have a few things I wanted to write about today, but that was eclipsed by what I just read on Twitter:



Twitter is "stressing out a bit right now?"

I'm sorry you're stressed out, Twitter. You know what, take a break today - put your 01100110011001010110010101110100* up, grab a cup of tea and relax. I know being a social networking service is one tough job.


___________________

* - binary for "feet"...at least I think so.

A short, late Thursday post

For 5 minutes, I was a prisoner in my own sweatshirt. I've had this article of clothing for at least 5 years now, so you'd think I'd be well-versed in removing it.

Because the bungee cord-like elastic closure at the bottom got caught on our banister twice today (recoiling me into the wall both times), the knot was WAY too tight to undo. A claustrophobic panic began to set in, causing me to sweat (the original reason I was taking of the darned sweatshirt in the first place!) and ran through a billion ideas of how to get it off without destroying it. Plan A was using my teeth to pry the knot open. Plan B was to call ShankRabbit at work in tears.

Fortunately, Plan A worked.


Don't tell my dentist.

Fatherhood Friday: An important holiday!

READER'S WARNING: I'm pretty sure I don't have a following of children reading my blog, but if you have nosy little ones peering over your shoulder while you catch up on blog reading, you may want to send them in the other room while you read this post.

I don't want to be responsible for having your child ask "what's a BJ?" (and I'm not talking about the yellow dinosaur on Barney and Friends)

* * * * *

STEAK AND BJ DAY

Here's the story...taken from an email I received several years back. You can read about the start of this holiday in the Urban Dictionary.

"You know the drill. Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness for a significant other by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and any other baubles that women find romantic. Every Valentines day you rack your brains for that one special, unique gift that will show your wife or girlfriend that you really do care for them more than any other. Now ladies, I'll let you in on a little secret; guys really don't enjoy this that much. Sure seeing that smile on your face when we get it right is priceless, but that smile is the result of weeks of blood, sweat and consideration. Another secret; guys feel left out. That's right, there's no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life. Men as a whole are either too proud or too embarrassed to admit it.

Which is why a new holiday has been created.

March 14th is now officially "Steak and BJ Day." Simple, effective and self-explanatory, this holiday has been created so you finally have a day to show your man how much you care for him.

No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town; the name of the holiday explains it all, just a steak and a BJ. That's it. Finally, this twin pair of Valentine's Day and Steak and BJ Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere try THAT much harder in February to ensure a memorable March 14th!

The word is already beginning to spread, but as with any new idea, it needs a little push to start the ball rolling. So spread the word, and help bring love and peace to this crazy world. And, of course, steak and BJ's."

If you're a Celiac, I hope you're not Catholic

As made evident by my profile message to the left, my husband has Celiac disease. Simply put, he cannot have wheat (and many other grain) products. We are not sure if Peanut has a gluten intolerance yet or not, so we are holding off introducing gluten into her diet until well after her first birthday. Anyway...

I am part of a discussion board for "gluten-free" families. One mother brought up an issue - her daughter, who is gluten intolerant, wants to take part in communion in their church. However, they are Catholic and they were told that a gluten-free alternative could not be provided...only a "low-gluten" option. End of story.

I found this odd. Why on earth would the church not be accommodating to people with this disease? A gluten-free communion wafer is still a bread product...it's not like she's asking them to bless and administer a Snickers bar. Our church is happy to provide a gluten-free option for our family, but we are Lutheran.

I won't bore you with all the research I did (it certainly fascinated me, though). I will tell you this - apparently, in order for it to be "valid" Eucharist, the bread must be made from wheat. You can read about it here.

You take gluten out of the communion wafer and *poof* it's not suitable to be used as the body of Christ?

Wow. Is there anyone out there that understands this?

I used to be Catholic...and with as much as I know, I still don't get it.

Random Friday #4

Welcome, Fatherhood Friday visitors! (Yes, I'm aware I'm not a dad...but the members of dad-blogs are very welcoming to the womenfolk, too).




Sorry about yesterday's text getting smaller and smaller. I have no idea what happened there - and I couldn't fix it, no matter how hard I tried.

* * * * *
What in the world would require the "rinse only" cycle in the dishwasher? Couldn't you just hand wash/rinse it? I'm thoroughly confused (and, obviously, have never used this option). Has anyone out there used this?

* * * * *
I use two spoons at mealtimes with Peanut. One for me to feed her; the other for her to play with (so she won't snatch the food one out of my hand...as she so frequently does). Recently, I had to upgrade to three spoons because she steals BOTH spoons - one for each hand. I'm all about being a kid and exploring and having fun, but when you use your spoons like this...



...and prevent me from getting food into your mouth, then we've got issues.

Consequently, I go through NINE spoons a day. Ugh. My hands are chapped from all of the spoon-washing I have to do each day.

* * * * *
We have dance parties in our household. The who, what, when, where and why doesn't matter - if someone calls out "dance party!" you drop everything and dance. Typically, this has been during dinner prep time (when ShankRabbit is home). I can't explain how proud I am to see Peanut sitting on the floor laughing and bouncing to the beat of the music. *tear*

In honor of this, I will be posting a "dance party song of the day." I think I'm going to do this on Mondays and Wednesdays - because, let's face it, Mondays and Wednesdays tend to drag along (at least for me). If you have a song that you'd like to recommend for our dance parties, please post a comment or drop me an email. I love discovering new music.

Buuut...since I'm thinking about it, I start one off for the weekend -

Artist/Band: Motion City Soundtrack
Song Title: The Future Freaks Me Out
Kid-friendly?: There is one f-bomb in there, but I typically sing "Ah, flip it!" really loud over that part.